i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
