His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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