what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
