My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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