Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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