can we get nightvision for the apartment?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
