dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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