I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
