Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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