garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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