so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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