I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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