Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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