So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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