We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
