we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
why do cheetos always look like penises
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
