...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
