did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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