do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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