I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
