Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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