I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Randomize
