Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
