Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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