real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
