If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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