No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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