Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
