Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Success! We fucked roommates!
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