Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
