I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
