what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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