Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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