If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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