Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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