You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Randomize
