I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
