i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
