i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
