he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize