What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
