At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
