ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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