her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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