turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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