The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
