You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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