OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
