i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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