her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just google imaged poop.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
