I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
this will be a night to untag.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
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