I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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