Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
