areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
