i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
