It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
