All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
