Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
