At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
