all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize