The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
