My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
operation harelip BJ is a go
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize