How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
