I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
