Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We had sex on a dog bed..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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