Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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