Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
