nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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